I finally understood what my psychologist meant when he told me that what is important is oneself. It is not something relative, depending on who says it, as if it were truer in one person than in another, but absolute, because there is nothing more important for oneself than being oneself. Not feeling this way or that way, but knowing myself to be here.
❝And finally I managed to break through the shell of insensitivity and finally my wound could be considered a concluded fact. ❞ The emotional revolution: From emotional dependence to emotional agency.
You do not control the world. If you lie so that people do not get angry, you are kind so that they do not get upset, you pretend so that they do not reject you, you are inflicting suffering on yourself. This suffering is implacable. There comes a time when feeling rejection when you are rejected is the joy of living. I want to be able to make mistakes. I want the things that hurt to hurt me. And not to behave with the lordship that what bothers me, put it aside. Because what I put aside, is invariably myself.
I understand patients who leave therapy at the slightest argument, or feel insecure, or think: “It’s not working for me.” I was the first one in the past to run away from so many opportunities. I ask myself: how did I finally manage to stand firm until the end? What happened so that this time I didn’t run away? The answer is that I felt that my life was at stake, that if I left therapy, everything would be subject to my (un)control again, and it would be more and more of the same. Until when? —I thought.
I realized that I wanted to live. In truth, I didn’t realize it until the end, but already at the beginning something in me had said: enough, this can’t go on like this. This is the story of how, feeling like shit, addicted, codependent and anxious, I gave myself back my life, although at that time I could not imagine where all this would lead me.
Healing is possible, but it is a hard therapeutic path. We need to feel the wound that comes with the truth falling by its own weight, that the truth weighs more than the ego’s demands to avoid discomfort and feel comforted. That what the ego stages as humiliation becomes humility; and that what it dramatizes as guilt becomes honesty.
If you want to start therapy with me, follow this link and let’s get to work.
