Emotional dependence
Emotional dependence is experienced as feeling terribly inadequate for life. This is why one tries to make oneself worthwhile. But as it starts from the idea that “I am not worth it”, consequently, everything the person does will not be worth it, it will not be enough. There always comes a point when it is not. That is why he/she has to live through another (partner, etc.) or others (family, etc.), who, according to this logic, are worth it. Whatever they do, they are worth, because they have done it and not you.
Codependence is a way to save the other, to save love, to save oneself, condemning oneself. It is an irresolvable contradiction if I have to abstain in order to be loved. The problem is that one lives in lovelessness in the name of love.
“I like life too much to want to be only happy!”
To love you, disregarding me; or to love me, disregarding you, responds to the same control strategy.
In therapy, we attenuate this fear of not being loved, which prevents me from loving you and loving myself at the same time, so love will no longer be the excuse for not being loving and paying attention to how I am and what I want to do in this respect.